September 03, 2012

What's on your whiteboard?

I read a metaphor by Elizabeth Edwards on another blog over the weekend. She likened life to a whiteboard on which to try to fit all the seemingly "important" things in life, constantly try to squeeze in more stuff. Then you experience the loss of a child and everything seems so trivial. Your whiteboard is again blank and this time, you're more careful with what you write on it. More thoughtful about what you fill your life with, whom you choose to allow in your life. You realize what the important things are, it's the "little" things that matter.
Seems cliche but spend more time saying "I love you", appreciate your loved ones, appreciate what you have because this life is fleeting. I'm so grateful and happy for the time I got to spend with Ademide. I wish we had more time together to experience more on this side but God has other plans. I will go to him but he won't come back to me.

As humans sometimes we see others go through tragic times and we say "I'll pray for you" with the sincerest of intentions but life gets in the way and in the midst of your prayers maybe the person gets a quick mention "God please comfort X" and you move on in your prayers. You thank God that you're not the one enduring the tragedy. Hey I've been there before. Then just like that it comes knocking at your door and your whole life changes.

I've had a lot of people say "oh you're so strong, I don't know how you keep it all together." I respond with thank God and I'm not being all Christianese. I really am so grateful to God, I'm actually much better than I thought I would be. Somehow I haven't lost my marbles and taken to running around London like a crazed person. It can only be God.

In Luke 22 : 31 - 32, the Bible talks about how the devil asked to sift Simon as wheat but Jesus said He had prayed for him that his faith would not fail so that he could strengthen his brethren. Perhaps, God has allowed me to experience this to be a blessing to others.

I guess when you experience tragedy and one as devastating as the death of a child it makes you realize what's important in life. It forces you to cling to God because nothing else makes sense.

I'm an uncommon woman and I've been called to walk an uncommon path. As I heard in Church once, there are places in God, you can't reach without enduring pain.


  1. This too shall pass Korede :). There is a testimony comming out of this test, a message out of every mess we experience .. xoxo

    1. This is not a mess or a test. My son died period. Just let's drop the Christianese "test" testimony and "mess" message.

  2. Sorry about your loss and i know God will and is comforting you already.

    I had a miscarriage at 17weeks and i was shattered, i thought i won't pull thru but to my surprise( i know it was just God's help) i pulled thru, slowly though but strongly.
    I can imagine the devastation that you would have felt having gone through the whole pregnancy period, labour, child birth, settling in into motherhood and just like that going back to square one.
    I honestly don't buy the mess or test idea too and i think people should just stop Christianizing sad and unfortunate events.
    God will give you double for your troubles and you will smile again.
    Cheers and stay strong.

    1. Thank you so much for being real. Sending hugs your way. I'm sorry about your miscarriage.
      I should make a list of all those praying doubles my way for babysitting help o ;). Same back at you.

  3. I committed the last line to memory. Thank you for sharing your story and strength.