August 25, 2012

I am the face....

This time last year, I was excited. I had just married a man that I love so much and we were going to have a baby! 
The biggest thing on my mind was if I would have a boy or a girl. On December 5, 2011, my life changed - my son was diagnosed with a right sided congenital diagphragmatic hernia. Three weeks later after seeing different specialists, I was told my son had a 10% chance of surviving if the only issue was the CDH, if anything else was found 0%.
My son was born premature on March 31, 2012 at 4.10am weighing 2.366kg.
He was eventually diagnosed with a Congenital Heart Defect, Tracheomalacia and Right Lung Hypoplasia amongst other issues.
He started off really well, then spent 10 days on ECMO life support, recovered, discussions about going home happened. Unfortunately, my son spent his 4 months and 7 days in the ICU.
My son died on August 7, 2012 at 6.05am. 
His name is Ademide 

The amniocentesis had come back normal, it was done twice at two independent locations. The genetics tests came back clear. Nothing I did caused it.

It was an unfortunate random event. 

I got a lifetime membership in a club that I never imagined I would join. 

I am forever changed...

The thought of my suffering and homelessness

is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!” (Lamentations 3:19-24 NLT)