August 25, 2012

I am the face....

This time last year, I was excited. I had just married a man that I love so much and we were going to have a baby! 
The biggest thing on my mind was if I would have a boy or a girl. On December 5, 2011, my life changed - my son was diagnosed with a right sided congenital diagphragmatic hernia. Three weeks later after seeing different specialists, I was told my son had a 10% chance of surviving if the only issue was the CDH, if anything else was found 0%.
My son was born premature on March 31, 2012 at 4.10am weighing 2.366kg.
He was eventually diagnosed with a Congenital Heart Defect, Tracheomalacia and Right Lung Hypoplasia amongst other issues.
He started off really well, then spent 10 days on ECMO life support, recovered, discussions about going home happened. Unfortunately, my son spent his 4 months and 7 days in the ICU.
My son died on August 7, 2012 at 6.05am. 
His name is Ademide 

The amniocentesis had come back normal, it was done twice at two independent locations. The genetics tests came back clear. Nothing I did caused it.

It was an unfortunate random event. 

I got a lifetime membership in a club that I never imagined I would join. 

I am forever changed...

The thought of my suffering and homelessness

is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!” (Lamentations 3:19-24 NLT)


  1. My condolence to you and your family...May the Lord God Comfort you all and may you all find rest in him..*Hugs*

  2. Eya, my condolences on your loss!! May the Lord give you all the strength and grace you need to bear this loss and may He in His timing give you and your husband the desires of your heart!!

  3. I am so extremely sorry for your loss. One day you will see Ademide again, but for now he is resting in the bosom of our Lord. I know it must be hard, but thankfully you have a wonderful husband to lean on for strength. has some really good message boards. Maybe you could join one of the message boards for mommies that have lost their babies. Sometimes fellowship with others who have experienced what you have experienced can help you tremendously in your grieving process. You will be in my prayers.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I pray from my heart that God will fully console you and be with you and your husband at this time. May Joy, peace, love be restored to your home many times over. And as you have confessed n your post, may you continue to hold on to the faithful love and mercies of the Lord.
    God bless you

  5. I am sorry for your loss. God will be your strength in this trying time of your life. I pray for joy, happiness, contentment,love and positivity will be abundant in your home.

  6. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you!

  7. I echo what the others have said: I'm truly sorry for your loss and pray that God will continue to heal you both and give you a sense of peace, knowing that you will see your son again, healthy and happy. Pele...this is not easy to pass through.

  8. You are one brave woman to share your story. I have been praying for you ever since i read this. God will continue to uphold you and grant you peace that passes all human understanding.

  9. So sorry to hear about your loss. The Lord is with you. I pray God gives you and your husband the strength to bear this loss. Do not worry though because you will both be blessed with a happy family in due time. Be strong!

  10. Mrs A. i am deeply sorry to read about this. God will be your strenght.

  11. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 <3

  12. May God's mercies and his favors rain in ur household. I am truly sorry for ur loss, Ademide will not be forgotten as he will come back again in great health by God's grace.

  13. Nice of you to blog again. I stalked your blog for ages o. So sad to hear the story but I trust you are much stronger now. God bless your home and Ademide.

    Everything I believe will work out fine even much more than you ever expected or wished for. xxxxxxx