Living in the moment - Santa Fun Run...

I participated in a 5k Santa Run today in Greenwich Park raising funds for Great Ormond Street Hospital where Ademide spent most of his time. Randomly ran into one of the audiologists that had seen Ademide :). Lots of fun with 22,000+ Santa's!

One year later....

"The paradox of modern medicine is that knowing doesn't always mean the outcome will be better. The ability to diagnose has absolutely raced ahead of the ability to care [and treat]" Source

A year ago today, I found out that my son had a right sided Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, R-CDH.

The day had started out great. It was my husband's first day at a great new job. We had gotten up bright and early. I made him breakfast and saw him off. Promising to call as soon as my ultrasound appointment was over. Although our local NHS PCT (primary care trust) does not disclose the sex of the baby, I fully intended to ask anyway. It was the most important thing - the irony !

I got to my appointment very late and even missed my slot but they managed to fit me in. I sat with other excited mom's and couples in the waiting room. If you wanted a picture, you needed exact change £2.50 or you could pay with a card. We all excitedly counted out our exact change and ogled at the couple who'd already had their scan and were staring loving at their pictures.

I wouldn't need my £2.50 then or ever. At every appointment, perhaps out of pity, I got tons of pictures. Even got the fancy 3D and 4D ones, and eventually got told that I was having a son - information that was no longer relevant. The new goal was healthy!

Living in the moment - Paris...

Thank you all for the kind comments on my "life among the living..." post. Here's an example of a great day my husband and I had in Paris 2 weeks ago. I'm very grateful for him and some amazing people God has placed in our lives.

I understand that God has a purpose for everything. However, it still hurts that my baby isn't here. I still have people who remember seeing me pregnant, come up to me and ask about my baby...

Living in the ICU for four months is an experience - we were surrounded by some of the sickest children in the UK and further (there were children from several EU countries, Canada and even the USA) at Great Ormond Street. It's easy to forget that millions more children are born healthy, and that you're surrounded with the select few. I'm adjusting to living in the moment...

Life among the living....

Some people just don't get it. Just let me be, there are good days and bad days. Today Ademide would have been 8 months. He's been gone 3 months and 23 days. When you bury a child, everything changes....